Set Sail for that One Place
by LordBudFerg
Summary: Bowser sends Lemmy on a quest to collect Cortez's treasure, and along the way Lemmy makes some new friends who join him in the Blue Ball Crew.
1. Chapters 1 through 4

Set Sail for That One Place

Prologue

Bowser stands in his living room, explaining something to his seven children.

"And so you see," he concludes, "I'm sending one of you to sail out and take Cortez's treasure. So, who's it gonna be?"

"I'd love to!" yells Ludwig in response. "Think of all the things I could learn from that treasure!"

"Same here!" Iggy says excitedly.

"I'd get a buncha new stories to tell if I went!" Morton breaks in.

"I love water!" shouts Wendy.

"It'd be awesome to get to fight a big skeleton dude like him," says Roy.

"What a chance to discover new plants!" says Larry.

"Eh, I'd rather stay home," Lemmy mumbles.

"All right, that settles it," Bowser says. "Lemmy, you're going!"

"AW!" all seven Koopalings groan in response.

"Hey, don't complain," replies Bowser to his other six Koopalings, "Since Lemmy'll be doing that, you all can help me with my other anime-parodying shenanigans! Now then, we'll need some midgets that can shoot lasers..."

Later, Lemmy has made his way to the Dark Land Docks. Tired and hungry from his roll over here, he enters a nearby tavern to rest up. Inside, Knife Guy is telling some random Koopas about what he's been doing since Grate Guy built that casino of his.

"So yeah, I went into pirating, and he said, _That's so cool!_, and I said, _I know!_, and then I actually went pirating, and I acted like a pirate, and I stole stuff like a pirate, including this really nifty looking fruit that will probably prevent scurvy or something," Knife Guy tells them, sounding almost as annoying as Morton. However, Lemmy doesn't care too much about how annoying he is. Instead, he's looking straight at the large fruit that Knife Guy had left sitting on a table.

"Lemmy... senses... tingling..."

Lemmy grabs the fruit as soon as the clown turns his back and downs it in one bite, then realizes what he's done and quietly slips out of the tavern. Outside he finds himself feeling... different. Almost like rubber or something.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WHO STOLE MY FRUIT!" Knife Guy wails from inside the tavern.

"Uh oh," Lemmy says to himself. Knife Guy immediately barges out of the tavern, and Lemmy rolls away as fast as his ball can take him. However, as he approaches the lava-like water, Lemmy slips and falls in.

"No problem, I can just swim!" Lemmy tells himself. However, when he tries to swim, it's like some abnormality is preventing him from doing so. Lemmy still doesn't think it's a problem, as he can just float, but a gigantic Boss Bass leaps out of the water and jumps right at the Koopaling!

"Hang on, bud, I'll save ya!" Knife Guy calls out, temporarily putting the matter of Lemmy eating the fruit aside. Knife Guy jumps off of his ball, into the water, and shields Lemmy with his own body. The next few moments are a blur, but Knife Guy and Lemmy both make it out.

"Woah, thanks for saving me back..." Lemmy starts to say, but then notices that Knife Guy's left arm is missing.

"Oh, you noticed the arm? Lost it five seconds ago, when I was trying to save you from that titanic tuna fish back there," Knife Guy explains. "Don't worry about it, though. This give me more opportunities to practice one-arm juggling!"

Lemmy replies with a dazed, "Okay," and then begins to wonder what the deal is with the fruit he has eaten.

_I wonder... maybe this fruit's magical or something..._

Lemmy starts to roll away, but then he hears somebody calling out after him. "Wait up! I heard you were looking for Cortez's treasure to make King Bowser proud!" Knife Guy says. "In that case, take my hat. Take it with you, and wear it proudly."

"But I don't want to wear that stinky old cap!" Lemmy cries out.

"DO IT!" Knife Guy yells. He then proceeds to pull out some duct tape and stick the hat onto Lemmy's head. Knowing that fighting with this one-armed bandit wouldn't really do much, Lemmy just accepts the fact he has to wear the hat and goes to find a ship.

The Koopaling walks through town, eventually spotting a huge ship that is pulling into the harbor. He sees on the side that it is called the Marykoop.

"What a stupid name," Lemmy mumbles, then begins wondering something.

_Should I do the right thing and buy it, or surcumb to temptation and steal it? What a no brainer!_

Lemmy then knocks the people who are standing in his way into the water as he makes his way onboard. The captain, being the brave man he is, pulls out a sword and tells the Koopaling that he has to defeat him first if he wants command of the ship for himself. However, Lemmy merely pulls out his Freeze Gun and transforms the captain into a living ice sculpture and throws him off the ship as well. The rest of the crew, seeing this, flees in terror, leaving only Lemmy onboard.

"Okay, cool. Heh heh, I'm so good at puns."

Lemmy then somehow manages to set up the entire ship by himself, and sets sail for that one place.

Chapter 1

"This is actually quite easier than it looks," Lemmy tells himself out loud as he steers the ship out into the sea.

"Of course, the fact that I can clone myself may have something to do with how good I am doing so far," a clone of his butts in.

"Maybe," replies one of the clones, the one sitting in the Eagle's Nest, in a sarcastic tone.

"Hey, is that another ship over there?" a third clone asks, pointing into the distance. A ship certainly is visible. Feeling the need to check out what is going on, Lemmy sails over towards it.

Meanwhile, on that very same ship, Bowyer is seen scrubbing the deck for a mysterious and rather large lady.

"Scrub the entire ship, and don't miss a spot!" the woman demands.

"Join the Navy, I should have..." Bowyer mutters to himself as he continues to clean.

"What was that, you dirty archer?" the woman asks in an angry tone.

"Oh, nothing," Bowyer replies while still scrubbing.

"You had better be right," the woman tells him as she walks off.

Lemmy's ships anchors and, when given the opportunity, he boards the ship. Seeing the woman and Bowyer, he mutters, "The love train is making another run. The love train has something for everyone," before moving forward enough for them to readily notice him.

"What are you doing onboard my ship!" the woman asks sternly.

"Oh, just to beat you up, take your treasure, and use it to pay for things I need to get to Keelhaul Key. The usual," Lemmy tells her.

"Well, you're not getting anything but a knuckle sandwich from me!" the woman yells as she steps into the light and reveals herself to be-

"Miss Petunia the Portrait Ghost!" Lemmy gasps. "Didn't that green brother of Mario capture you and turn you into a painting?"

"Well, I somehow managed to get out of that infernal 2D prison after all this time. I also stole a can of Sunlight Repellant, in case you're wondering how I can live in broad daylight," Miss Petunia explains.

"Whatever," Lemmy replies. "Now, get ready to feel my icy wrath!" Lemmy then charges straight at Miss Petunia, but is quickly smacked away. Somehow, though, he bounces around like a rubber ball and knocks himself right into the ghost before stopping.

_How on Plit did I do that?_ Lemmy wonders.

"Augh! Are you made of rubber or something! Ah well..." The ghost swoops in, slamming her ghostly body on Lemmy in a similar fashion to how Flurrie does it.

_Oh DAD, I'm going to die!_ Lemmy thinks to himself as he sees the poltergeist fall on top of him. However, the Koopaling then realizes he isn't actually feeling that much pain. It is as if he really is rubber, and is just harmlessly absorbing the blow...

The ghost floats off, assuming that Lemmy has been crushed, and is amazed to find that he is fine besides having been stretched out a bit- stretched out!

"I don't know what's going on, but oh well!"

Lemmy runs in for a slash, but trips, begins rolling, and hits the ghost hard, bouncing off and hitting the handle of the ship, off which he bounces and hits one more time.

"WOW!" Bowyer shouts from nearby. "Win, you can! Believe in you, Lemmy, I do!"

"Oh, shut up! You're working for me, remem-" Miss Petunia begins to shout at the archer, but is then hit by another of Lemmy's bounces.

The ghost huffs a few times, then merely turns into a cloud of vapor and flees.

"Very much, I thank you," Bowyer says whilst forcing a handshake on Lemmy, who merely thinks one thing.

_Why didn't I just use my clones for that instead?_

Chapter 2

Later that day, Lemmy agrees to sail Bowyer to the Navy so he can sign up and live a better life than he did when under Miss Petunia's control. Lemmy is about to leave, wondering why he did something so pointless, when he reads a flyer pinned up on the wall:

ATTENTION!   
There will be a hanging at noon today for a man guilty of treason, murder, and square dancing in a circular room. All Navy Officers must attend.  
Signed, the head of the Navy

"Cool!" Lemmy comments after reading the flyer. "It's almost noon already! I'd better hurry up if I want to see this!"

Lemmy walks to the town square and there sees a Jawful standing on top of a pole that is very high off the ground. A noose is tied around his, um, body.

"Any last words?" one of the members of the Navy asks of him.

"Not reall- oh, um, I mean, yeah. This!"

The Jawful spits a small fork out of his mouth that he apparently had hidden under his tongue. Using his mouth, the Jawful slashes the rope that is around his body and wrists, then begins running off as quickly as possible with the many men giving chase.

_Hey, this is cool!_ Lemmy thinks to himself as he watches the action from where he is standing.

Lemmy follows, watching as the Jawful easily takes out every man who cacthes up to him, using his fork to wield off his assailants. However, Jawful quickly tires from running such a long distance. He sees the various Navy Officers approaching, but isn't strong enough to walk any further. Just as the officers almost have Jawful, Lemmy bounces right into them and knocks them out!

"Why did you do that?" Jawful politely asks.

"Well, anyone who gets that many officers to follow him during a chase isn't bad in my book!" Lemmy tells him. "Hey, want to come to my ship and relax for a bit? After a bunch of fights like that, I know that I'd be tired, too!"

The two return to the ship and began talking inside the cabin.

"So, what's your name, Jawful?" asked Lemmy.

"Jawful."

"Nice to see your parents were creative with naming you."

"Tell me about it. So, what is your goal anyway?"

"Well, my dad sent me to steal Cortez's treasure, so I'm going to do just that... and, of course, pocket some for myself."

"Wait, do you mean you're a pirate!" Jawful gasps.

"Yeah, but it's not like I plan to kill helpless people! ... Well, I made a guy lose an arm when he rescued me, and a fat ghost somehow bounced off me and flew far into the distance, but those are technicalities!" Lemmy explains.

"So... you're a good pirate or something?" Jawful asks.

"Well, I guess so," Lemmy answers.

"... I've never heard of anything like this before. All of the pirates I have met in my various journeys have always been cruel to villagers and would do anything for treasure. Actually, the reason I was going to be hanged was because I killed such vile and despicable characters. I did them a favor, and they mistake it as a crime," Jawful explains.

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about," Lemmy replies. "Just a week ago, me and my brother Iggy fixed King Dad breakfast. Sure, we actually spilled a pound too much yeast into the pancakes and the entire kitchen was covered in dough for three days. But, it's the thought that counts!"

"I suppose," Jawful answers. "So, how many people do you have in your crew? 7? 8? Possibly 15?"

"Well, if you don't count my clones, and if you join, then that means... I'd have two people!"

"WHAT!" Jawful yells out. "You're supposed to be a pirate, and the only crew you have is made of various copies of yourself!"

"Yeah, more or less," Lemmy answers.

"... Okay, I'll join you, but only because I feel sorry for you," Jawful tells the Koopaling.

"Sure, that's what they all say."

"Shut up. Well, anyway, what are we going to do now?"

"Well, before we leave I promised I'd get this freaky bow-bean thing I saved a spot in the Navy."

"I don't think it'd be wise to hold up to that promise..."

"Whoever said I was wise?"

"Good point."

"However, I do have a plan," Lemmy tells him. Lemmy then reaches into his shell and pulls out a red pillow, some markers, tape, and a small fork.

"Why do you have those items in your shell?" Jawful asks.

"I'm not too certain, but once I'm done, you'll be glad I have them!"

Later, the Navy Officers are still scouting the area, and have blocked off all sea travel in the area. However, one of the officers then spots something in the distance. After heading towards it, he notices that it's Jawful tied up in ropes! Well, he thinks it also may be a red pillow with eyes scribbled on and a small fork taped to the side, which it actually is, but he is too excited that the murderer has been caught to notice it.

"Who is the man that captured this criminal?" the Navy Officer asks everyone in the area.

"Twas I, Bowyer the Archer! NYA!" Bowyer tells the officer as he walks towards him. "Captured the murderer, I did! Wish to be a Navy Officer, I do! Become one, may I please?"

"Yeah... um, sure," the officer replies.

So, one thing just leads to another. Bowyer joins the Navy for bringing in "Jawful". The Navy then decides to just stuff "Jawful" into a tightly sealed box and throw him out into the ocean to die. The real Jawful then joins Lemmy's two-man and multi-clone crew, due to the fact that no other ship would probably take him. And, after Jawful is appointed First Mate, Lemmy feels that he is one step closer to Cortez's treasure already.

Chapter 3

Lemmy and Jawful walk off the Marykoop, having arrived in a small town a few islands from their last stop. Looking around the town, they don't see any inherent danger, besides the fact that Captain Syrup is sitting on a set of steps, counting a bag of coins for one reason or another.

"Money, money, money, money, money!" Syrup mumbles to herself. "I love money! Money here, money there! I can't get enough of the stuff! Too bad it's going to be taken away, though."

Lemmy happens to hear the mumbling and approaches Syrup. "What do you mean, your money's going to be taken away?"

"Well," Syrup explains, "this town has been captured by an evil pirate clown. Every day, the most powerful member of his crew comes and steals our gold for his own use."

"Well, I can't stand that! I deserve to be a pirate clown more than he does! I'll teach that lackey he's going to send down here a thing or two, and then he'll know who he's dealing with!"

Just then, the ground begins to shake. A guy on a gigantic Buzzy Beetle stomps down the street and stops in front of the three. Syrup drops her coins and heads towards the docks. Jawful pulls out three forks, and makes a fighting pose. Lemmy, however, can do nothing but think about what a big mouth he has.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Syrup asks. "Go ahead and take 'im out!"

"Um... okay."

Jawful rushes in at the Buzzy Beetle and starts slashing away with the forks, but the attack doesn't phase the Beetle because of its shell. The creature slaps Jawful away easily, and Lemmy merely chuckles nervously and mumbles, "Note to self: don't ever say something like that again."

Meanwhile, Syrup has reached the docks and hopped aboard the Marrykoop, as it is the only ship there at the moment. Syrup then hides below deck, and spies something that almost makes her cry in joy. There, as if waiting just for her, is all of the treasure that Lemmy had pilfered from Miss Petunia. And I tell you, it is a lot of gold!

_Finally, I can pay for a guy who can knock off Wario for good!_ Syrup thinks to herself as she pulls out some sacks from nearby and begins to stuff the gold into them.

Back with Lemmy and Jawful, they still haven't caused a single dent in the shell. The figure on the Buzzy Beetle merely laughs at their failing attempts.

"How stupid are you two? You can't hurt the shell of a Buzzy Beetle!"

"Well, we can try!" Jawful yells as he unleashes another long string of slashes.

_Does he WANT to die or something!_ Lemmy thinks while watching the Jawful's attack.

Just then, Syrup runs by, somehow carrying all of Lemmy's treasure! Lemmy, obviously angry at the Wario-hater, begins to chase her down the street. However, Lemmy trips once more, and bounces right into Syrup! Then, Lemmy flies backwards, and bounces off of the Buzzy Beetle with so much force that it topples over! The guy on top, however, manages to get off in time.

"Grr! Our captain will take care of you pests!" he taunts as he runs over to the docks himself. As he arrives, he spots his clowny captain's ship just arriving.

The ship docks and the guy runs onto the ship, seeing an unknown shadowy figure.

"So, you get the money today?"

"Some... Koopa Kid went and beat Buzz! I had to get outta there, or I'd be next!"

"You fool! Oh well, I guess I'll have to do this myself."

The figure steps out of the shadows and yells, "They'll rue the day they messed with Grate Guy!"

"So, does that mean I'm not going to be punished?"

"What are you, nuts? You had the biggest animal in all of Plit at your command, and you still lost! Boys, take care of him!"

A couple of Koopas dressed like clowns take the guy and throw him overboard. The ball-riding jester rolls off the duck of his ship, basically losing control and going flying off when he hits the bottom. After a moment, he walks back to the ball and hops back on it, then asks his troops, "So, shall we get going to take out this kid?"

Meanwhile, Lemmy has tackled Syrup and pinned her to the ground. "What's the deal stealin' all of our gold!" Lemmy yelled.

"Didn't I tell you that pirate clown always steals our cash? I need this for basic survival needs! You know, like food, clothes, shelter, some guy to kill Wario off for good..." Syrup explained.

"I can't believe you! You steal our money, and then you make a pathetic excuse to cover it up! You sound too much like me to just stick around here and get crooked by a crook! So, you want to join?" Lemmy asked.

Syrup is about to reply, but then notices Grate Guy standing behind the Koopaling. Grate Guy immediately spots the hat duct taped to Lemmy's head as he approaches. "So, you managed to receive my brother's cherished hat? You may be tougher than I first thought. However, you will still die at my hands!"

Lemmy and Jawful immediately turn around and pull out their weapons. "So, you're the evil pirate clown?" Lemmy commented. "I imagined that you'd be at least a bit... taller."

"You're not too tall yourself," replies Great Guy angrily.

"Well, I'm still a kid," Lemmy says in return before sticking his tongue out. After Lemmy does this, the ball-riding clown comes rolling in toward the ball-riding Koopa. He hits, knocking Lemmy's ball out from underneath him and sending the Koopa flying to the ground. Lemmy bounces off the dirt, shooting into the air and grabbing ahold of a street light. To his shock, however, his arms stretch out until they eventually cause him to reach the ground!

"Ah, it seems that you have eaten the cursed Rubber Rubber Fruit," Grate Guy notices as he saw this for himself. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to pull off moves such as this. However, I will still destroy you!"

"That fruit was cursed? No wonder it had a funny aftertaste," Lemmy comments.

"It does not matter if you've eaten it," Grate Guy continues, ignoring Lemmy, "because I have eaten one too!"

Grate Guy's hands then completely unattatch themselves from the rest of his body! "I think I'm gonna be..." Jawful comments, and then runs into an alley.

Lemmy, not really noticing how disgusting this looks in real life, merely pulls out his Freeze Gun and fires some shots at his opponent. Grate Guy and his hands merely dodge the blasts, though. "You fight like a dairy farmer!" Grate Guy tells Lemmy.

"How appropriate. You fight like a cow!" Lemmy immediately retaliates.

"You just had to say that, didn't you?" Syrup comments as she steps somewhat away from the battle.

Grate Guy's hands begin to wave in mid-air, looking much like a cross between the Master and Crazy Hands and a composer. As the hands wave, the area grows darker and stars begin to rain down from the sky!

"I always loved using Star Rain," says the magic-using jester pirate.

"Watch out; I'm quicker than you think!" Lemmy tells as he rolls around on his ball. He miraculously dodges almost all of the stars, and the one or two that actually hit him just bounce off of his rubbery body. Lemmy quickly speeds up to Grate Guy, charges up a fist, and-

"Hey, what did I miss?" Jawful asks as he comes out of the alley. He immediately sees that Lemmy has literally just punched Grate Guy's head off, and runs back into the alley again.

"Let's see if that curse you have gives you infinite oxygen!" Lemmy comments as he grabs Grate Guy's head. The Koopaling heads towards the water, carefully bends down, and completely submerges Grate Guy's head underwater!

"ACK! ... Glub! ... Glub!" Grate Guy tries to mutter underwater. Lemmy then lifts his head up to understand what he is saying. "GASP! Fine, fine! I surrender! You win!"

Lemmy, as he feels just plain weird holding a head, throws it back towards the rest of Grate Guy's body. The evil clown's hands then fly towards the body as well, and the whole thing joins back together again.

"Just remember, Koopaling, that I will be back for revenge one of these days!" Grate Guy warns as he runs towards his ship. He quickly pulls up the anchor, which the figure who rode the B. Beetle is holding onto for dear life, and sails away.

_I wonder if Mr. Freaky-Dissemble-Body has gone yet,_ Jawful wonders from the alley. He then steps out, looks around, and finds that it is safe to come out.

"So, either of you two know where to go next?" Lemmy asks Jawful and Syrup.

"Well," Syrup answers, "I happen to know about this one rather large island due east from here. I say we head there next!"

"Sounds good to me!" Lemmy immediately agrees, not knowing any information about the actual island other than an estimated size and direction. "Let's go!"

Chapter 4

"And then I beat the Golden Diva with my super-strength while Wario watched in envy," boasts Waluigi to Princess Daisy, who has been feeling a bit sick lately so she's at her summer home rather than her castle.

"Wow!" Daisy replies, very interested. "So, what else have you done?"

As the two continue their conversation, one of her butlers watches from behind a corner...

_I hate that repulsive man_, the butler thinks to himself. _However, he seems to keep the princess entertained. So, I think I'll wait about... two more minutes before getting rid of him. Oh well, it could_  
_always be worse. At least he isn't some kind of ball-riding clown with an ice beam._

Meanwhile, the Merrykoop has recently landed on the island, and the crew is about to explore. _Now, where did I put my Freeze Ray?_ Lemmy thinks to himself as he rolls around on his ball.

"Say, strange little ball Koopaling," starts Syrup, "what is it you are after anyway?"

"I'm going after Cortez's treasure," Lemmy answers. "Didn't really pay attention as to why King Dad wanted me to go, but it had something to do with animes starring midgets."

"Uh... huh."

"So, anything special about this island?" Jawful asks.

"Well, I hear that the princess of Sarasaland is currently staying here," Syrup tekks him. "I believe that her vacation cottage is just up that hill over there."

The three so-called pirates then start to walk down the path, when they bump into three small characters that are blocking the way.

"Hey, who do you think you runts are!" Lemmy demands, not caring that he is an actual runt himself.

"I'm Percy!" the first one, who was a Piranha Plant, tells.

"I'm Gameboo Advance!" the second one, a Boo, tells.

"And I'm Charlie!" the third one, a Chain Chomp, also tells. "And together,  
the three of us are..."

"THE EGGPLANT CREW!" the three little guys yell at once.

"... How nice for you. Now, get out of the way!" Syrup demands.

"Nice to see you're in a good mood," Gameboo Advance replies sarcastically.

Jawful speaks up. "Wait a second, Syrup. We're gonna need to get to know some people around here, so there's no sense in making a bad first impression on the only people we've met here so far."

"For some strange reason, I have a feeling that these guys aren't the most popular people in town," Lemmy mumbles to himself.

Meanwhile, Waluigi has just finished telling Princess Daisy about his battle against the Evil Black Jewel. But then, the butler approaches the two.

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are closed. It is time for Princess Daisy to get some rest," he tells the two, while hiding his hatred for the purple plumber inside of him.

"But he makes me laugh! Why can't he stay any longer?" the princess asks.

"You know the rules, Princess. I wouldn't want somebody like him somehow spreading any germs onto somebody of your stature," the butler answers.

And so, Waluigi begins to walk out of the room. But, just before he leaves, he blows a kiss to the princess and smiles.

"That man is just so charming, don't you think?" Princess Daisy asks the butler as Waluigi shuts the door. However, the butler doesn't reply. He merely  
thinks that soon, he'll never have to see that lanky man's face again. The butler turns and walks into the kitchen to get started on dinner.

Meanwhile with the Blue Ball Crew (as Lemmy named them), the Eggplant Crew is showing the three around town.

"Over there is the Constable's house," Percy tells them as they walk near a very fancy house. "You'd better watch out, because he isn't the kind of guy who enjoys pirates in the village."

"And that path over there leads to Buzzy Beach," Charlie tells them as they walk by a stone pathway. "It's a great place to have private conversations, unless somebody is spying on you from a cliff above."

"Really..." Syrup replies, considering coming back sometime to hang out over the cliff and spy on some people for blackmail purposes.

"Yes, really," replies Charlie. "All right, now over here is Monty Mole's house..."

After the three pirates are shown around, Jawful decides to go find them a hotel room (which is his way, as a Jawful, of saying he's going to bed) and Syrup goes to go fishing, so Lemmy decides to head to the cliff and see if he can't spot some juicy tidbit of conversation. He gets up there and sees that Waluigi is there, watching something down below.

"Who are-" Lemmy begins to ask, but Waluigi quickly covers the Koopaling's mouth.

"You'd better keep quiet," Waluigi whispers to him. "Something's going on down there, and I don't want to be found out!"

Waluigi then uncovers Lemmy's mouth, and the two merely watch the action below.

"So, boss, you wanted to talk to me?" the jester known as Harley Quin, of Wario's Woods non-fame, asks of Daisy's butler.

"Indeed. Tomorrow I plan to finally wrap everything up and complete my most brilliant get-rich-quick scheme ever!"

"Great, boss! But what was your plan anyway? It seems to me as though you'vedone nothing but lower yourself to a butler's position."

"It may seem that way, Harley, but I've done more than you can imagine. After I washed up on Sarasaland, which I was surprised even had a beach, the king and queen of the land took me in and gave me a home. I managed to get a job working for them, and more importantly, I earned their trust doing so. Now that they have entrusted me with their precious daughter, it is time for the main plan to commence. You are to sneak into the princess' room, and hypnotize her into creating a will that will hand over all of her valuable possessions over to me! And, with her illness, it won't be long until we're rolling in the cash! It's so simple!"

"... Huh?"

"sigh Just hypnotize the princess into giving everything she has to us via a will. When she dies, we get everything."

"Oh! I get it now!"

"Yes, I should hope so."

Lemmy and Waluigi see all this and gasp, then Waluigi whispers, "Oh no! We've gotta go back and let everyone know what they're up to!"

Lemmy doesn't answer, but instead stands up and walks to he edge of the cliff before starting to shout at the two, much to Waluigi's chagrin.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT!" Lemmy screams to the pirates below.

"Oh, great! It's a ball-riding brat and that plumber I hate so much!" the butler complains.

"Quick! We've got to get out of here!" Waluigi yells at the Koopaling. The purple plumber then grabs Lemmy's arm and races back towards town.

"Should we follow them, my captain?" Harley asks.

"No need. Who's going to believe either of them, anyways?" the butler answers.

Meanwhile, Waluigi and Lemmy have already made their way back to the village. Waluigi is with his Eggplant Crew, and Lemmy is with his Blue Ball Crew.

"I'm trying to tell you, that butler is planning to kill Princess Daisy! We have to stop him!" Waluigi tells his pals.

"Yeah, right! We've heard you tell a fake story now and then, but to spread lies about an innocent butler? For shame, Captain! For shame!" Percy says in  
reply.

"But it's true, I swear!" Waluigi tries to convince, but his three little buddies have already walked away.

"I saw it too!" Lemmy tells his own crewmates.

"Please. We're supposed to believe you when, on the way over here, you taped Jawful's eyes and mouth shut and threw him into the sea, then yelled that he was a giant cherry?" Syrup asks of the Koopa.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know there was a Boss Bass nearby? Plus, hey, we got him out, right?"

"Um... no WE didn't," says Syrup. "If I remember correctly, I saved him while you played Super Smash Bros. with your clones."

"Oh yeah! Well, I guess that me and that lanky plumber who hasn't given me his name yet will have to save her ourselves!"

Lemmy then stomps over to Waluigi, grabs his arm, and heads towards Princess Daisy's place.

"So... what's your name?" the Koopaling asks, having never met the guy personally in any Mario game before.

"It's Waluigi. And who are you?" the lanky plumber asks.

"I'm Lemmy, one of King Bowser's seven children."

"Ah."

"So, you have any weapons we can use to take out those bad guys?"

"Well… I have a slingshot, and a bunch of very small Bullet Bills."

"... This is going to be harder than I thought."

Meanwhile, Harley Quin is practicing his hypnotism tricks. He pulls out a Blue Coin attached to a string, and begins to wave it back and forth in front of himself.

"When I say Jango, you shall tango!" Harley tells himself.  
"1… 2... JANGO!" Immediately, Harley starts to dance the tango by himself for no apparent reason other than being hypnotized.

The butler, who was watching this, realizes that sending Harley to do all of the work himself was a rather lackluster idea. "I've changed my mind," he tells the jester. "I believe it is best if you get the rest of the crew here first, in case something goes wrong."

"Sounds good, Captain P-"

"Just do it!"

"Okay, okay! You don't need to tell me twice!" Harley then heads towards the nearest beach, doing the tango all the way.

"Sometimes I wonder why I didn't hire Biff Atlas when I had the chance," the butler sighs.

The butler then walks further towards Daisy's current living quarters. However, Gameboo Advance is watching from behind a tree.

"Uh oh, Waluigi was telling the truth! I've got to tell the others!" the ghost tells himself as he turns invisible and searches for the rest of the Eggplant Crew.

Meanwhile, the Blue Ball Crew begins to think a few things over themselves.

"You know, maybe we should have believed Lemmy," Jawful tells the female pirate.

"Yeah, right! Anyone who trusts one of the Wario Bros. is a complete idiot!" Syrup replies.

Just then, Gameboo Advance flies towards them. "QUICK! Where are the others! Waluigi was telling the truth! Not only that, but there's a fleet of pirates about to dock on the beach!"

Jawful and Syrup don't reply. Instead, they quickly head off towards Buzzy Beach, in case they really were telling the truth.

Over with Waluigi and Lemmy, they are both hopelessly lost.

"Maybe I should have checked which direction the house is BEFORE we run off, hoping to find it," Waluigi tells himself.

Just then, Gameboo Advance flies towards them! Quick little ghost, isn't he? "I'm sorry we doubted you, Captain Waluigi!" the ghost apologizes. "But that's not our biggest worry! There's a bunch of evil pirates about to land on the beach! You must hurry!"

"WHAT!" Lemmy gasps. "Quick, Waluigi! Let's hurry to Buzzy Beach!"

"But-a I don't even know which way is north!" the lanky plumber complains.

"Don't worry, I'll lead the way!" Lemmy tells him. He then uses his rubbery legs to stretch up high and over the forest they are stuck in. Once he finds out which way the beach is, he returns to ground level. However, Waluigi is  
completely pale.

"Oh my DAD! You must have eaten a cursed fruit, didn't ya? That's the only logical explanation for this!" Waluigi figures out.

"So what?" Lemmy replies. He then grabs Waluigi under his arm, and quickly rolls towards Buzzy Beach.

"sigh Why isn't anyone helping ME out?" Gameboo Advance complains to himself as he continues to search for the rest of the Eggplant Crew.

Lemmy and Waluigi soon reach the beach and are shocked to find that... there's nothing there!

"We must've gone to the wrong beach!" Waluigi says to the Koopaling.

Lemmy sighs. "How many others beaches are there?"

Lemmy then looks around, and sees that Jawful and Syrup have just arrived. They are helping each other carry a large barrel.

"What do you mean there's no pirates!" Jawful complains. "We bought this barrel of grease just so they couldn't pass by!"

"Yeah!" Syrup adds. "And the only other beach in the area is the one where our... ship... is docked..."

The pirates then look at each other with blank stares. In a quick instant, they start to run back up the path and towards the other beach. However, Jawful slips and drops the grease in front of him. This is really bad, seeing that the others are gone and he just blocked his only way out.

"Oh (#," Jawful swears as he watches the others run off into the distance. However, Jawful quickly gets an idea. He pulls out a giant fork and uses it to pole vault over the grease. He then runs as fast as he can, trying to catch up with the others.

Of course, this is pretty hard since he's a Jawful, but he at least keeps them in his sight. Eventually they all reach the beach, all gasping for air, and see a large ship ramming the Merrykoop for... no apparent reason.

"Moveness!" yells the person manning the ship, and I'm sure you call all tell who that is.

However, the next time the Merrykoop is rammed, a sack or two of gold is tossed out into the water.

"Those items of value are of great shinyness! Stop rammifying and start gathering it!" the guy who is manning the ship, obviously Fawful, commands. And immediately, the pirates gather all of the loot from Lemmy's ship.

"OH GREAT!" Syrup yells. "NOW THEY'VE GOT MY... Uh, I mean, OUR GOLD!"

The pirates then make their way to the shore. "Okay, fellow random pirates!" a random pirate shouts. "Let's takeover the village!"

"Oh no you don't!" Waluigi remarks. He then pulls out a bag of tacks he picked up while running to this beach, and throws it behind him. The tacks scatter everywhere, blocking the only path out. "There! Now none of you can pass onwards and to the village!"

"YOU BONEHEAD! WE'RE STUCK HERE TOO, YOU KNOW!" Syrup shouts.

"Ah. Forgot about that. Anyways," Waluigi tells the Blue Ball pirates, "let's take these jokers down!"

Syrup yells at Lemmy, "Stretch one of your arms over here."

"No."

Syrup growls angrily, then throws a small dagger-like weapon tied to a rope into Lemmy's left arm, pulling it over to her.

"What'd you do that for!"

"Next time I say to do something, do it!" the woman yells in response as she runs circles around some of the pirates with the arm, tying them up in it.

In a few minutes, the pirates are all gone. But then, none other than Harley Quin jumps down from a cliff above!

"Don't give up now, you scummy pirates!" Harley yells.

"But we have... no more... energy..." another random pirate wimpers.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to hypnotize you, and then you'll have enough energy to beat these guys up!" Harley tells them. "When I say impossible, you will feel unstoppable! 1... 2... IMPOSSIBLE!"

However, the clown missed his target. In seconds, the Blue Ball Crew feels even more powerful than they were before! "Why me?" Harley wimpers as Syrup gives him an uppercut, which sends him soaring into the distance.

Meanwhile, the butler is waiting patiently outside of Daisy's house. Harley then flies by and lands right at his feet.

"You messed up big time, didn't you?" the butler asks.

"Yeah, pretty much," Harley answers.

"Odd, I didn't think that those fools could even touch a klutz you! Oh well, I came prepared in case I underestimated them," the butler tells him. He then pulls out a radio from underneath his striped shirt, gives out a few commands through it, and then puts it back. "There. I've just ordered our best guys to finish them off. If they still live after this, though, I'm going to have to take this matter... personally."

Meanwhile, the Blue Ball Crew and Waluigi are trying to clear away the tacks, when two figures jump out from behind them!

"Hey, who do you two bozos think you are!" Syrup scoffs.

"You'll regret scoffing at us!" one of the two figures tells her. "Because, we are..."

Both figures then yell out, "The Dancing Whirlindas!"

"Oh great, now we have to fight dancing ghosts," Syrup mutters before beginning to swing her weapon, which, of course, Lemmy is still attached to, so Lemmy gets swung around in the air too.

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!" Lemmy screams as he is swung around in the air. He quickly turns into a ball, hoping to merely bounce off of anything he hits. But this also works to his advantage, as the Whirlindas are stunned when they are hit.

"Looks like it's time to finish them off!" Jawful comments. He then pulls out what looks to be a mix of a fork, a spoon, and a vaccuum from behind his back.

"What is that thing!" Waluigi gasps.

"A PolterSpork, duh. Some professor designed it especially for me when I signed up to be a Ghost Hunter," Jawful explains. "However, I was kicked out a week after I started. But at least I got to keep this thing!"

Jawful then sucks the Floating Whirlindas into his device. He then shoots them back out as strands of ectoplasmic energy, and uses the spoon attachment to literally eat them as though they were mere spaghetti noodles! "Don't worry," Jawful tells everyone when they stare at him with a shocked expression. "My insides are ghost-proof, and they're safely stored inside of me until I burp them out."

"How... interesting..." Waluigi comments as his face turns slightly green.

Meanwhile, the butler then gets a report that the Blue Ball crew has defeated everyone. Actually, if everyone is defeated, then how did he get the report? Oh well; it's a video game, and you've got to learn to deal with things like this.

"It looks like I'll have to be the one to finish them off," the butler tells his klutzy companion.

"Really? May I come?" Harley asks.

"You may as well. If I leave you here alone with the princess, you'd probably mess up and convince her that she's a chicken or something," the butler replies. "I feel that it would be better if you just stayed close to me from now on."

And so, the two evil characters head towards the beach where the Blue Ball Crew and Waluigi still are. There, Syrup and Jawful look around and admire their handiwork, while Lemmy looks really shaken up.

"What's wrong with you?" Syrup asks the Koopaling.

"I dunno, it could've been that you SWUNG ME AROUND IN THE AIR!"

"Well, you don't have to sound so harsh about-" Syrup begins to say, but stops as she sees the butler and Harley approach.

"That face... I know who that man is!" Jawful gasps as he points to the butler. "That man is the most wanted criminal on sixteen different islands, and was thought to be dead! He's-"

"Now wait a second," the butler interrupts. "Why should you tell them who I am if I can merely say so myself?" The butler then jumps down to their level and takes off his disguise, revealing who he really is. "Say your prayers, for I am... CAPTAIN POPPLE!"

"NOT CAPTAIN POPPLE!" Waluigi gasps.

"NOT CAPTAIN POPPLE!" Syrup gasps.

"NOT… wait, who are you?" Lemmy asks.

"Oh, so it seems that somebody actually doesn't know me?" Popple remarks. "Harley! Would you care to do the honors?"

"Gladly!" Harley agrees as he also jumps down. "You see, Captain Popple here was a very fierce person in battle. He was very greedy, too. However, one day, he heard about a treasure so big, it put his to shame."

"You mean Cortez's treasure?" Lemmy asks.

"No, that was too much work to get. I'm talking about Princess Daisy's treasure!" Harley answers. "So, he set up a major plan in order to acquire her wealth. First, we got into a fight with a navy ship, intentionally losing. I had actually managed to hypnotize somebody into thinking he was Popple, and they caught and murdered him instead! So then, Captain Popple threw himself into the ocean near this island, and when some people found him, he just told one dirty lie after another! And today would have been the day that we got that cash, if it wasn't for you!"

"Wait a second!" Jawful interrupts. "Wouldn't that Constable guy have recognized Popple immediately?"

"Yeah, he would. However, he was the man I had hypnotized!"

"Hey, I just remembered something! This island is in the Beanbean region of the world, and a constable is somebody who is put in charge by local government to ensure that people follow the rules. Or at least, I think so. So that would mean..." Waluigi thinks.

"Yes, your thoughts are correct. The Constable was none other than Prince Peasley!"

"Well, that would explain why he hasn't yelled at anyone for the past three years," Waluigi tells himself.

"... You're a pair of sick and twisted men!" Lemmy yells.

"Thanks for the compliment."

Lemmy comes rolling in at Popple, who merely grabs him by the arms and tosses him behind him easily. Next Syrup and Jawful come charging in, weapons drawn, but Popple throws two Mushrooms onto the ground, causing the two to gain speed and rush straight into the woods and face-first into trees.

"Harley: go find the Koopa and deal with him. I'll handle our friend here."

"As you wish, my captain," Harley Quin replies. He then runs off into the distance to find out where Lemmy landed.

"Well, it looks like it's just me versus you now!" Waluigi points out.

"Yes, it does. However, I have a secret weapon planned for pests like you!" Popple declares. He then presses a button on his gloves. Giant spikes then appear on each of his fingertips, and it looks as though he has suddenly grown gigantic claws.

However, Waluigi isn't even phased. "You'll pay for what you did to the prince, and even more for what you were about to do to the princess!" Waluigi yells as he loads a miniature Bullet Bill into his slingshot and aims it at the crook.

Waluigi fires, but Popple merely punches the bullet away, then rushes Waluigi, who kicks him in the face ala Mario Party 3.

"You think that you're powerful enough to stop me?" Popple asks, while managing to cover up a nosebleed. "Well then, you're going to regret that thought ever entering your head!" Popple then rushes towards Waluigi, and manages to swipe the plumber's arm with his metallic claws.

Meanwhile, Harley has just found Lemmy. The Koopaling is paralyzed, and can barely move. "This is excellent! Now listen up, you clown! When I say Ted, you'll drop down dead!" Harley tells Lemmy as he pulls out his Blue Coin. "1… 2... TED!" And with that, Harley ultimately defeats himself with his bad hypnotism. Lemmy manages to stand up, and limps towards his knocked out crew.

Back with Waluigi and Popple, the evil pirate has almost annihilated the marksman! "You are a fool to think you can kill me, you pathetic fool! As soon as I crush you the same way I always dreamed I would, I'll merely assassinate Princess Daisy myself! It will not matter if my partner in crime has fallen or not, for without her, all of Sasaraland will slowly become nothing but a mere memory! And that's because I, the great Captain Popple, will..." Popple then has a weird feeling that he was being watched. He turns around, and sees almost everyone from the village staring at him.

"Well, well, well!" Charlie remarks. "If this isn't a Kodak moment, I don't know what is."

"GET THAT BEAN!" Percy yells as he leads the other villagers from the side of the cliff and towards the traitor. They are just about to murder the fiend when a quiet, gentle voice yells at them to stop.

"Wait one second!" beckons Princess Daisy, who has miraculously been cured. "That man may have tried to kill me, but it does not mean that you should kill him instead!"

"Oh, Daisy! You're alive and well! Such a sight brings warmth back into my heart!" Waluigi cries out.

"Well then," Popple comments, "if I'm not going to die, then I'll just-"

"Now wait one moment!" Daisy demands. "I still have a fitting punishment for you!"

Later that day, Popple and Harley are seen drifting on a raft in the middle of the ocean. "You really blew it this time, you know," the captain tells his first mate.

"Don't talk to me. I'm dead," Harley replies.

"For DAD's sake, you just THINK you're dead!"

"No, I'm really dead."

"When's the last time you heard a dead person talk?"

"Maybe I'm a Dry Bones?"

"But... oh, what's the point? It's like talking to a Thwomp."

Back on the island, Waluigi has recently accepted his invitation to join Lemmy's crew. "Percy, you're in charge of the Eggplant Crew until the day I eventually return. Honor this title I've given you, and always remember me."

"Trust me, everyone on this island will remember you after what happened on this day," Percy replies. "You just remember all of us, okay?"

"Of course I will," Waluigi replies as he steps on board the Merrykoop. The treasure that Popple had stolen from them had been brought back, and they even took some of Popple's cash as interest. Waluigi waves to the villagers and Princess Daisy one last time, and then the Merrykoop sails away.


	2. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"THIS is it?" Waluigi gasps as he takes a look around. There are forty  
people on deck at once, but if you don't count the clones, the only people  
even there are Lemmy, Jawful, Syrup, and himself.

"Yeah, pretty much," Jawful replies. "How do you think I felt when I first  
joined? It was just a ship full of Lemmy clones!" The group then sees in the  
distance a ship. It appears to be working for the Navy.

The guns on the ship fire as Lemmy looks up at the flag of a skeleton riding  
a ball and sighs. "I knew I should've had a kitten instead." The Blue Ball  
crew quickly runs towards the cannons placed nearby. However, only Waluigi  
can even make contact with the Navy Ships.

"Remind me to give you guys lessons if we live through this," Waluigi tells  
the others as he barely manages to sink one of the Navy Ships by himself. A  
few Bullet Bills hit the Merrykoop, doing a little damage, all while Waluigi  
continues firing away. Eventually, one of the ships shoots off a Bonzai  
Bill! The bullet easily blows the ship over, with all four of them landing  
on an island containing a thick forest.

"Ow..." Waluigi moans, feeling serious pain from the blast.

"Hey, where are we?"

"I'm not too certain, but I don't think we have time to find out right now!"  
Syrup tells him. She then points out towards the ocean, and the crew  
notices that the Navy ships are  
approaching the island.

"Quick, we've got to hide!" Lemmy tells his crew. He then rolls into the  
forest, followed by the others. The four run into the forest, lying low  
in a bush. The Navy, upon failing to see anyone, turns around, probably  
hoping to find a restaurant at sea or something like that.

"Well, that was close," Syrup says as she pulls herself out of a bush.  
"Yeah, you can say that aga-" Waluigi starts to comment, but the purple   
plumber then feels something tugging on his sleeve. He looks behind him, and  
immediately freaks out as he sees some mutant Koopa/Mr. I hybrid eating his  
shirt! "WHAT ON PLIT IS THAT THING?" Jawful gasps as he looks at the  
monster. The fork-user immediately starts to run away, but stops when he  
sees a Clubba/Boo blocking the path.

"Crew, I think we really messed up this time!" Lemmy comments as he looks at the different hybrids surrounding them. The entire crew is rather freaked   
out over this whole mess, but they almost went insane as a blue-colored  
bush from nearby  
began to speak to them!

"Who dares walk throughout my island, yo?" the bush-thing asks in a freaky  
manner.

"A talking bush? This is just plain crazy!" Jawful screams. He then sticks  
his fork into the blue bush, trying to shut it up. However, it turns out  
that it isn't a bush at all!

"Hey man, why'd ya have to do that?" Jimmy T., formerly the talking blue  
bush, asks the crew. However, the disco dancer is currently stuck inside a  
giant treasure chest.

"Um... we thought you were a bush?" Jawful answers.

"Oh. Well, I'm not a bush!"

"Alright." And with that, Jimmy jumps up and runs away into the jungle.

"Follow that bush!" Lemmy yells as Syrup, Jawful, and Waluigi all sigh. The  
Blue Ball crew eventually catches up to the disco dancer, who is hiding  
nearby a very steep hill.

"What on Plit are you doing here?" Waluigi asks, knowing that Jimmy T. used  
to work for his brother's Microgame company.

"Well, dawg, it all started 'bout a month or two ago, fo' shizzle," Jimmy T.  
explains in his own way. "Me, Papa, Mama, and the sibs were on tour,  
spreading funk and disco through the islands! We stopped here fo' a  
breather, and I looked around. About here, I found an empty treasure chest,  
and thought there were more on dat hill up there. But, I slipped while  
climbing it, fell, and got myself wedged into this chest, yo! Could ya help  
a brother out, and get that treasure for a groove dawg like me?"

"...That has to be the most idiotic story that I have ever heard," Syrup  
replies. "But, since treasure is involved, we'll help you get those  
chests!"

"Ya will? That's just fo' shizzle, yo!" Jimmy T. replies.

"Do us all a favor and stop talking slang, okay?"  
"Sure, whatever."

"Good, 'cause the only thing that bothers me more than slang is  
French-speaking turtles," Syrup answers.

"Well," Waluigi breaks in, "where are these chests anyway?"

"Like I said," Jimmy T. replies, "they're on top of the hill I'm standing  
beside!"

"WHAT?" Waluigi gasps. "Are you kidding? It will take hours for us  
to-"

Lemmy, deciding not to wait any longer to get to the treasure chests, merely  
bounces off a nearby tree and to the top of the hill.

"...Then again, I may not take that long," Waluigi comments upon seeing  
this.

"Alright, Lemmy, toss' em on down!" Syrup yells up to the Koopa.

"No can do!"

"Oh no... they're empty, aren't they?" Jimmy shouts in return.

"Oh yeah, sure, empty," Lemmy answers while stuffing gold into his shell,  
being careful to avoid being seen.

"Oh well, I should've known," Jimmy sulks. "Man, I can't believe I spent  
all these years stuck on this island for a treasure that didn't even exist,   
yo."

Lemmy, once he finishes packing the gold into his shell, hops back down.  
"You know, if you'd like, you could come join our crew and get off this  
stinking island! In fact, you could be our...uh...well, once I think of  
something, you can be it!"

"Oh boy," Waluigi groans, imagining how it would be having one of his  
brother's ex-employees doing the disco on board the ship all day.

"...Forget it, dawg," Jimmy answers. "I'd rather stay here with these  
freaky hybrids. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I just can't  
leave them here all alone. But, if you want to stop by once you're done  
this whole adventuring-thing, I'm always available!"  
"...Sure, whatever," Lemmy replies.

"Hey guys!" Jawful yells at the others. "I think those Navy ships have  
finally left! Let's get out of here before they come back!"

"Sounds good to me!" Lemmy cheerfully yells back. "Let's go!"

And so, in a matter of moments, the Blue Ball crew leaves Jimmy's Island,  
and sets sail once more in search of adventure, danger, and gigantic bags of  
money.


End file.
